What's it about? Age 55+ it's especially for you.
It's never to late to start over again.
The monkey mind is a sure sign of ADHD, flitting from one thought to another. Thoughts build to ideas, and ideas become projects. But it all goes the same way, the monkey jumps from tree to tree not settling on any one project.
The Monkey Mind: A state of restlessness, capriciousness, and lack of control in one's thoughts.
For the past decade, it feels like a lifetime; I have been trying to write a book or two, and the struggle is still ongoing. I went to university in my late 50s with a dream that I would succeed in delivering my cherished novels. For someone who had very basic high school qualifications—I didn’t really attend school during my last two years, as I was a compulsive truant—it was a mad thing to do. And it proved to be just that. I was diagnosed with dyslexia, ADHD, and dyspraxia, along with mild traits of autism. In my first year, I gained the label of a 57-year-old mentally disabled student and ground my back teeth with the stress. I should have said, “F**k you,” and walked away, but in the grand scheme of the neurodivergent mind, I kept walking into the fog of madness, maybe i was a trauma addict of some sort. It’s only recently that I’ve managed to escape that fog. I got through four years of university but left without a degree, a big, fat student loan looms over me, and still no finished book. However, there is a silver lining: I’ve gained a deeper understanding of the neurodivergent mind, especially how it affects mature individuals, where it comes from, and ways to live with it. This site is all about the journey—over mountains, through deep, dark valleys, and feelings of drowning in the fast-flowing rivers of a disillusioned mind. But I feel as though I’ve made it, and I want to share this experience to help others on or contemplating the same journey.
There is a massive spotlight on neurodivergence and being on the spectrum. There’s a wealth of information out there, especially for younger individuals. But what if you’re from the older generation, looking at all this and thinking, “That sounds and looks a bit like what my life has been about”?
What do you do? Do you continue doing what you've been programmed to be, or do you decide to make a change and become who you truly want to be?
This moment of reflection can be both daunting and empowering. It’s a chance to break free from old patterns and embrace a new path that resonates with your authentic self. The journey may be challenging, but it’s never too late to forge a new identity and live a life that feels true to you.
Who am I?
Intelligent, qualified and motivated person, one who loses the plot quite a lot in a meaningful beautiful way.
I'm Sonna Aronaran , that could be an apt description by people who know me, see me, perceive me. It's a question i'm just beginning to be able to answer. I was born in Liverpool in 1962 into a war -zone between my mothers and fathers families. I have never in the past referred to my father as i didn't know i had one. This is what my story is about ; father no-name.
Very recently, I discovered my true Celtic roots through DNA testing, uncovering an ancestral link that had been hidden away all my life. With this newfound understanding and acceptance of the past, I can appreciate the roles people played in keeping these secrets to protect me.
I'm very much a nomadic person, often leaving people and things behind. Much like Vianne Rocher from the book and film Chocolat, my destiny is one of gypsy wanderlust, blown by the north wind from one tribe to another, trying to find my place. It wasn't merely about fitting into a tribe; it was about discovering myself amid the wild winds that blurred my conception of identity. Always in survival mode, I often chose flight over fight. As i got older life got more obscure and dysfunctional wandering down the path of loneliness and isolation. Realising you have spent your life suppressing your true instincts and values to please the outside world.
However, I’ve been fortunate; the journey has been adventurous, taking me to some incredible places where I’ve met and befriended fascinating people. I’ve experienced fame, only to be humbled and brought back to a place of insecurity. Like a monkey jumping from branch to branch, I’ve developed agility, adaptability, and a sense of playfulness, all while embracing the spirit of adventure and curiosity. Linking this website to my BLOG i am starting to share the story with a feeling of liberation, clarity and peace being a happy monkey up in the tree canopy freely flying from one branch to another. https://outyourhead.blog/
This picture was taken while living in Cambodia in 2023. I find it interesting, looking down at me is the image of the grinning monkey (Hanuman). A simple coincidence?
Creating a new fresh authentic space.
Before the new journey begins, look up through some trees, feel your roots and imagine your potential as limitless as the stars in the sky.
Discovering the truth of who you are later in life can be a transformative experience. Here are some positive aspects of this journey:
1. Enhanced Self-Acceptance
- Embracing your true identity fosters a deep sense of self-acceptance, allowing you to appreciate your unique qualities and experiences.
2. Clarity and Purpose
- Understanding your roots and identity can bring clarity to your life’s purpose, guiding your decisions and goals moving forward.
3. Empowerment
- Gaining insight into your true self can empower you to make choices that align with your authentic values, leading to greater fulfillment.
4. Improved Relationships
- As you become more authentic, your relationships can deepen. You may attract like-minded individuals and build stronger connections based on shared values.
5. Increased Resilience
- Navigating the challenges of self-discovery can strengthen your resilience, equipping you to handle future obstacles with confidence.
6. Personal Growth
- The process of uncovering your identity can lead to significant personal growth, helping you develop new skills, interests, and perspectives.
7. Freedom from Societal Expectations
- Discovering your true self can liberate you from societal norms and expectations, allowing you to live life on your own terms.
8. Legacy and Impact
- Understanding your heritage and identity can inspire you to create a meaningful legacy, influencing future generations positively.
9. Joy and Contentment
- Finding and embracing your true self often leads to a sense of joy and contentment, enhancing your overall quality of life.
10. Inspiration for Others
- Your journey can serve as an inspiration to others, encouraging them to pursue their own paths of self-discovery and authenticity.
These positive aspects can significantly enrich your life, leading to a more authentic, fulfilling existence. Embracing your true self, no matter when you discover it, can be a powerful catalyst for transformation.
Setting a new Goal
The New Creative Adventure , finding my Holy Grail.
If you feel as though you have failed ,
try , try ,try again and again.
As the tree will eventually blossom and its fruit ripen in reality.
It’s not just my neurodivergent mind that has blocked my writing; it certainly plays a role, but I never truly understood the origin of my struggles. I didn’t know who the demon was or what its attachment meant. However, I have begun to uncover some truths—some still need to be verified, not just for my readers but for myself. This will be my research: finding factual connections and uncovering hidden paperwork.
The story flows from the demon to my upbringing in Liverpool, where I came out as gay at seventeen. This marked the beginning of my nomadic life, moving from place to place—Southhampton, Bournemouth, Portugal, Spain, Thailand, France, Cambodia—each location contributing to a rich library of distinct anthologies in my mind. It’s an internal mosaic of colour, texture, and shape. There’s a price for this library, and as I write, I know I will feel the pain of being beautifully displaced.
Yet, I’m at peace with much of this now. I can practice true forgiveness and hopefully reconnect with the people I left behind. No more sticking plasters on old wounds i can let them heal now i have my answers. It’s going to be worth the energy. I feel alive, looking forward to living in a new environment and rebuilding my life on strong foundations, allowing the nomad within me to journey where he needs to go.
The Man Who Had To Grow Lavender needs to be beside the sea?
You and Me - How to Get Going?
Write it down, believe in what you are doing, never mind the mistakes.
The Creative Explosion.
Having ADHD doesn't mean you can't excel in creativity. In fact, those with ADHD often have a unique and incredible imagination that allows them to create vivid images, characters, and stories. However, one of the challenges that comes with this is getting those ideas out of your head and into a tangible form for others to see. As someone who understands the psychological impact of ADHD, I can provide a knowledgeable and empathetic presence to guide you through this process.
Walk Away from the Distractions.
Despite their sociable nature, individuals with ADHD often struggle to focus on their own personal journey due to being easily distracted. This can lead to a cluttered mind, making it difficult to tap into their creativity. In order to combat this, I have found success in creating a dedicated space for myself. This space is carefully curated with calming colors and a comfortable atmosphere, allowing me to focus and thrive.
Allow the Ideas to Come to Light.
As someone who is constantly jotting down ideas and working on various creative projects, I understand the struggle of trying to concentrate on one subject at a time. However, by learning to prioritise and focus on one idea at a time, you can fully explore and develop your thoughts and unleash your creative potential. Let me guide you through this process and help you discover the space and techniques that work best for you. I am also exploring how AI can help in the process of writing.
Overload of Ideas becomes a Foggy Mess.
One of our major challenges is that we stumble upon new projects, ideas, and other ventures that may have originated from previous, unfinished endeavours. This leads to a mental haze, obscuring our vision and hindering our understanding of our goals. We become lost in our own thoughts, plagued by self-doubt and sadness, causing us to abandon the project and add it to the collection of our unfinished concepts.
Mindfulness
The key to conquering a disorganised and unfocused mind lies in the practice of mindfulness and meditation. As someone who has been a holistic healer and a Buddhist monk, I will impart insights and methods from my own journey. One of my projects is to create a YouTube channel and come into the spotlight: a problem many people with ADHD have doing.
Believe in Yourself.
Believing in your abiility can diminish once you grasp the real task of what you have planned to do.
The small winding path has become a super highway. A daunting place to be. But slow the highway down. As the cars slow, return back onto the winding path. Believing in yourself can be the hardest challenge to overcome , but just do it and remember it's never too late to do it.